Onterrio Smith’s Whizzinator
It should come as no surprise and I supposed I should be dismayed because Onterrio Smith showed last year that he can be one hell of a running back. But this is entirely too precious to not to appreciate the humor: Vikings running back Onterrio Smith–who already has two strikes in the NFL’s substance abuse…
Read MoreMike Tice – The Scalper
So Vikings coach Mike Tice has finally admitted that he scalped his Super Bowl tickets. That’s a direct contradiction to what he was saying just a few days ago when he claimed that though he routinely scalped tickets as an assistant coach, he never scalped tickets after he became head coach. While the practice, though…
Read MoreWhy Tim Russert Sucks
There are so many reasons why Meet the Press host Tim Russert sucks; this is merely the most recent: This Sunday Russert had former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. As the mayor of New York City, Giuliani was by necessity and in fact, a liberal Republican. Sadly, he has since turned sharply partisan and…
Read MoreAnd The Band Played On…
…Without Ashlee Simpson You wanna see something painful? If you missed Saturday Night Live over the weekend (and who could’ve blamed you? It ain’t exactly the cutting edge of humor these days), you missed a lip-sync moment that should be featured on a pop music bloopers tape. Teen pop star Ashlee Simpson began her second…
Read MoreCast–Fearful Flyer
Fearful Flier is The Veteran‘s cousin and sister to Chef. She is not a librarian though she went to school to become one and as a result, is the first person to turn to when you need to track down an elusive fact or piece of knowledge. The fact that she has a command of…
Read MoreCast–Surfer Dude
Surfer Dude, not surprisingly, is from California. It is not for that reason alone that I call him Surfer Dude: He actually does surf. He’s also a talented photographer–and videographer–and happily makes his own video highlight reels of his surfing, something I’d love to be able to do for my football games. I met him…
Read MoreCast–Grover
Grover was The Veteran‘s best man. They’ve been buddies since childhood and the stories of thie deeds and misdeeds are seemingly endless. He got his nickname because, as a kid, he he did a flawless imitation of Grover on the Sesame Street television show. When I first started hanging with The Veteran, he said that…
Read MoreCast–Bottom Line
The bottom line with Bottom Line is that everything comes down to the bottom line with her. She’s an accountant, so that explains her bottom lineness in matters financial. The company she works for makes the yellow tape that police use to cordon off a crime scene, so we’re always happy for her when we…
Read MoreCast–Pixel Grrrl
Pixel Grrrl was born and raised in Minnesota but moved to California to pursue a career in animation. After working on a handful of high-profile films, she moved back to Minnesota. Nothing in her personality betrays her religious upbringing, as she is outgoing and fun-loving, exhibiting none of the pinched uptightness often found in those…
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